Thrifty Christmas

In New Zealand, Christmas arrives in the middle of summer. In my family, we have a pot luck lunch or dinner at someone's house (one of us usually volunteers to host). We usually have a BBQ, tell stories, look back at photo albums (hard and soft copy), play board games, do jigsaws, and munch on leftovers. If we are feeling energetic we will go for walks, go to the beach for a swim and beach cricket, and/or get out on the bikes. Or we may fall into a cataleptic stupor having laughed ourselves sick playing Cards Against Humanity, following the hoovering of the lunch leftovers and one too many glasses of bubbly/cider/beer (strike out those which do not apply). We also might sing, perhaps doing a cover of Ronan Keating carolling a Meri Kirihimete:

I have blogged about regifting before (here), but I got sparked up by a Houzz article on 16 things that we could do in November to make Christmas less stressful. I read the list of things and kept thinking: don't do that; don't do that; don't do that... and being amazed that so many of us complicate family time with so much irrelevant crap. I know that in the Northern hemisphere it is a time to hunker down and do things that keep us out of the cold. I get that. What I do NOT get is the flaming waste of all the mis-directed spending and angst. There are calculations which show that Christmas spending was around USD$66b in 2007, with recipients feeling that the gifts missed the mark while feeling that they cannot get rid of what becomes an albatross (Waldfogel, 2009).

"From about age ten on—when we first develop well-defined preferences— we endure receiving gifts that we do not like. To make matters even worse, we are obliged to pretend to be grateful" (Waldfogel, 2009, p. 25). When others buy for us, "it’s pretty unlikely that they’ll choose as well as we would have chosen for ourselves. We can expect their choices, no matter how well intentioned, to miss the mark. Relative to how much satisfaction their expenditures could have given us, their choices destroy value" (p. 28, emphasis added).

Again, considering my family, the adults have a "$5 Christmas". This means no one may spend more than $5 on a present for any one person (and have to be able to produce the receipt if challenged). in this year of Covid, we are going hard out and are only allowed to make things or to recycle existing things.

Children get to make presents - or buy $5 ones - but get 'proper' presents from the adults. We usually do lots of behind the scenes negotiation for getting what parents would like their kids to receive. Not only does this mean that we give less tat, it also means we can collaborate and give a larger 'unicorn' present. Once the kids become teenagers, we simply do a bank transfer, so we don't give things that fall into the Hogsnort Rupert "Aunty Alice" category. For those of you who do not know what that is, watch the video below:

However, if we get given Aunty Alice presents, the giver knows they will get a return, when we regift it, 'straight back atcha'. This created a lot of laughs and Wimbledon manoeuvres over the years. For example, there is an UGLY ornament perpetrated by my niece which has gone back and forth a number of times. It may have finally gone to an Op Shop (NZ for thrift store) when my niece moved last year, but I won't know until Christmas <Cue Jaws sound track>.

The Houzz article does point out that saving this year's Christmas paper for next year helps to prevent the 'tearing of paper', so generates little waste in that area. However, we don't wrap presents: we may use recycled paper gift- or shop-bags that we have collected through the year; or we may simply make a flax bow and put a repurposed cardboard label on it. We have simplified Christmas over the years to make it a real family event. It is about people, not things.

This year, as very few NZ retailers use plastic shopping bags, I am considering making roomy and sturdy cloth bags this year out of doubled-up Op shop men's winter shirts. I will buy those too damaged to be sold, so destined for rags or flocking. I will design each with a colour palette to suit each recipient, with handles the 'right' length. Made with love, each one full of Christmas memories, each time it is used. And I might even stencil a Cards Against Humanity card on the outside of each one.

Let's focus on people at this time of year. And cut the crap, eh?

Sam

References

• Hogsnort Rupert (8 January 2013). Aunty Alice ( Bought Us This) [video]. https://youtu.be/loWBedviMEQ
• Houzz (25 November). 16 Jobs for Christmas Early Birds. https://www.houzz.co.nz/magazine/16-jobs-for-christmas-early-birds-stsetivw-vs~56691406?utm_source=Houzz&utm_campaign=u15084&utm_medium=email&utm_content=gallery4_4&newsletterId=15084
• Waldfogel, J. (2009). Scroogenomics: Why You Shouldn't Buy Presents for the Holidays. Princeton University Press.

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Gifting, regifting and guilt

I noted an article on 3 News about New Zealanders selling their "presents that missed the mark", which I thought was refreshing.

Christmas, as well as a time for coming together, tends to be our major time for giving gifts. The act of giving to another - giving without attachment to the outcome - is the main point: what the gift is is not the important thing.

We may buy for others with the best of intentions, but none of us get it right all the time. A Kiwi band, Hogsnort Rupert, released a song called "Aunty Alice" in the 70s about terrible and inexplicable gifts from an aged relative which no one could fathom, which my family used to sing lustily along to.

My view is that our intention is to give pleasure to another, and it really is the thought that counts. I would be horrified if my gift became an albatross for another: something that they felt they had to keep because it had been given to them, and that they had an "Aunty Alice" cupboard full of unwanted things. 

Once a gift is given I feel the recipient is free to do what they will with it. I have been asked "How would you feel if your gift was given away?!" and I say "It's theirs: its now their choice".

Providing a burdensome possession was never my intention in giving. We have so much already in our privileged lives: we don't need to keep unnecessary things as well. Hogsnort Rupert's song's ridiculousness - and catchiness - helped me break free of my own albatross mentality. I kept an "Aunty Alice" cupboard for a while but a series of moves saw me give away and regift things: and I caught the habit. I keep a recycle box. While I would be unlikely to sell a gift, I see nothing wrong with doing so.

But how would I feel if someone else gave away something I had been given them? Just fine. My family has a $6 Christmas: you are not allowed to spend any more than $6 on anyone, and regifting is encouraged. Christmas presents are intended to be fun, and may in fact become perpetual challenge presents, like a tiger-striped slinky we gifted around and played with - as adults - year after year.

What I do see as wrong is the weight some feel in having to keep a gift forever. We should not be gifting guilt.


Sam

References: 

• 3News (26 December 2014). Unwanted Christmas gifts auctioned on Trade Me. Retrieved 27 December 2014 from http://www.3news.co.nz/business/unwanted-christmas-gifts-auctioned-on-trade-me-2014122611 
• Visual.ly (2012). 'Tis the Season for Regifting. Retrieved 27 December 2014 from http://thumbnails-visually.netdna-ssl.com/tis-the-season-for-regifting_50d0ef9f7bd2c_w1500.png

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