Caging the smiling assassin

The last post laid out who the smiling assassin is (here). This post is going to outline some strategies for when we have to continue working in a workplace containing one, but where we have little power to change the situation.

Before we begin, I will summarise who the smiling assassin appears to be. They may "claim[...] to have [...]our back but [we sense] a lack of sincerity. The[y...] have very jealous tendencies" (Yee, 2017), taking "credit for [our] work", not sharing, and "not team players. They pretend to know more than they do" and "are fantastic liars [,... who] use rumour to undermine [us] and adopt a passive-aggressive, indirect, dishonest style of dealing" (Young, 2016).

There are strategies for dealing with this person, but if we lack power, we need to play a waiting game, waiting for those higher up than us to notice the scorched earth that the smiling assassin leaves around them: the lower productivity and higher staff turnover. Our "best solution is to not engage in too much on a personal level [,... and to c]reate a professional environment and interaction [which] leaves little for them to play with" (Yee, 2017). Caging the smiling assassin takes time.

We can point out increased turnover and lower performance comparisons with other departments to our manager (or to our manager's manager, if our manager is the smiling assassin), but we must do this by being the naive inquirer and asking questions (read more here). Any sign of a direct challenge will jeopardise us, because we can almost guarantee that the smiling assassin has got closer than we have. They instinctively divide and conquer, and we usually only see their strategy when it is too late.

If we are silly enough to blindly challenge the smiling assassin, we will find we have inadvertently put ourselves in the firing line. Like walking past a wasps nest, this is a hard position to recover from without many, many wounds.

Sometimes we will need to move out of the firing line. A sideways transfer to wait out the uncovering of the divisive nature of the smiling assassin can work. If however, we have to continue to work in close proximity to the smiling assassin, a key strategy is to record EVERYTHING. Record meetings as mp3s, or attend meetings via Zoom where we know the meeting is being recorded by a third party (DO NOT trust the smiling assassin to keep records). Minute everything. Email follow-ups to everything decided, shared or otherwise. Keep a diary of run-ins with the smiling assassin, with as many factual details as we can.

If we hear anything odd, off-kilter, or what could be taken as an indirect warning in what the smiling assassin tells us, or emails to others, we must answer it immediately (and in an email, if possible). Otherwise the "ah yes, I warned [x] about that at the time" will be the smiling assassin's comment to our boss, tainting our work record.

This will not be quick. We must consider if our work is worth waiting for, or if we should just move on when an alternative shows up. If we decide to stay, we must be punctilious and meticulous in quality assurance practices. We follow all policies and organisational practices very carefully, so we cannot be called out ourselves. We must be extremely careful with whom we speak, so the smiling assassin does not have anything to get a grip on. This is of course exhausting. But being squeaky clean is a good way to wait a smiling assassin out of the organisation.

If the organisation does not have an anonymous way of providing feedback, suggest the organisation sets something up (perhaps with the company accountants). Then we and others can provide feedback on the smiling assassin's micro-aggressions. Evidence will accumulate over time of the difficulty this person creates. Further, we can encourage the organisation to set up "a no-tolerance policy [for toxic behaviours]. Decisive action is critical. Otherwise [the organisation] risk[s] sending the message that bad behavior is OK" (Harvard Business Review, 2022). However, while the smiling assassin's results tend to fall off, the organisation has to have the will to (a) actually measure results to a meaningful level, and (b) actually DO something about decreases.

If we know someone who is seeking research ideas, we can suggest a cultural audit of the department as a research project, in comparison one we know is more functional. If we have some power, or connections to someone with power, we can suggest an anonymous cultural audit survey. Providing those who review the outcomes "respond with humility, curiosity, and empathy" (Harvard Business Review, 2022) to the findings, not defensiveness, this may indirectly expose the smiling assassin to scrutiny.

None of this is ideal. But at least there are some things we can do while we await effective caging of the smiling assassin.

Sam

References:

Harvard Business Review (27 April 2022). Management Tip of the Day: Don’t Allow High Performers to Get Away with Toxic Behavior [email]. https://m.a.email.hbr.org/rest/head/mirrorPage/@epZAQHe0ne3U-kJVN2VwVBlXbnj4HIcOHHn2VhdommFgjUPkSr1ROm8Vmr_46t3O4FQoZFcdZMDHW9jIP77cpkAcsFBle_YBlxmQTq_y97WSayGr.html?deliveryName=DM189705

Yee, H.-R. (7 June 2017). How To Spot A Toxic Co-Worker (And What To Do About Them). Body + Soul. https://www.bodyandsoul.com.au/mind-body/wellness/how-to-spot-a-toxic-coworker-and-what-to-do-about-them/news-story/f1471804c7e1e1a85a942de23439cef7?nk=aa31cbaf54e83c7f46a5a84c6b543850-1650929301

Young, S. (13 July 2016). The Smiling Assassin – do you work with a functional Narcissist?. https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/smiling-assassin-do-you-work-functional-narcissist-samantha-young