Working with a smiling assassin

Have you ever worked with someone who repeatedly asked your opinion, yet never used any of the carefully crafted ideas you provided? Someone who then turned in sub-standard work, but didn't take on any suggestions for improvement, despite being outside specification? Someone who would lie, and twist things around so that it sounded like you were lying? Someone who got the ear of the manager very quickly, while habitually undermining others? Someone whom you felt was gossiping about you behind your back, while smiling to your face?

If so, then you have met a 'smiling assassin'.

It is disconcerting to work with someone like that. You start working alongside them feeling that you are all in this together, and will work - as we have in the past - in a continuous improvement way, but the smiling assassins amongst us do not play by the socially constructed and agreed rules. The rumblings are faint and distant at first. Workplace culture appears to suffer. We begin to hear quiet rumours of colleagues becoming unhappy, of breakdowns, of sudden and unexpected staff transfers or exits. When the attacks begin to get close to us, we try to talk about it, but our manager is likely to shut us down with comments such as "Oh, no: [X] would be horrified to hear that", and "[X] only wants what is best for the department".

Bollocks. What [X], the smiling assassin, really wants is to divide and rule. Smiling assassins are very good at doing that. What smiling assassins are not so good at is doing good work, and building a team. Smiling assassins create high turnover around themselves. Performance falls off because the good people leave, and the smiling assassin is surrounded by the scorched earth which remains, largely on their lonesome (or possibly with a coterie of under-performers who provide the smiling assassin with a "yes, yes, yes" backing chorus and no challenge).

Further descriptions from two authors, who say the smiling assassin:

"claims to have your back but yet you feel a level of discomfort with your interactions- perhaps a lack of sincerity. The[y...] have very jealous tendencies and the best solution is to not engage in too much on a personal level... Create a professional environment and interaction [which] leaves little for them to play with" (Yee, 2017), and they take "credit for other people’s work. They will farm off work to you, yet constantly tell all who are willing to listen how busy they are. Unwilling to share information, they are not team players. They pretend to know more than they do to mask their insecurity. And they are fantastic liars. The Smiling Assassin is a so-called friend who is really an enemy whose main weapons are inconsistency and unpredictability. They use rumour to undermine colleagues and adopt a passive-aggressive, indirect, dishonest style of dealing with people and issues" (Young, 2016).

Watch out for this shark in the tropical fish tank what is our work places. The smiling assassin will bleed our enjoyment, savage our self-worth, and will build to the final effect of a workplace feeding frenzy.

The next post will be on a few strategies to continue working a workplace that contains a smiling assassin (here).

Sam

References:

Yee, H.-R. (7 June 2017). How To Spot A Toxic Co-Worker (And What To Do About Them). Body + Soul. https://www.bodyandsoul.com.au/mind-body/wellness/how-to-spot-a-toxic-coworker-and-what-to-do-about-them/news-story/f1471804c7e1e1a85a942de23439cef7?nk=aa31cbaf54e83c7f46a5a84c6b543850-1650929301

Young, S. (13 July 2016). The Smiling Assassin – do you work with a functional Narcissist?. https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/smiling-assassin-do-you-work-functional-narcissist-samantha-young