Four steps to better communication

We can really get it wrong at work sometimes, but the trouble is that we don't know what we don't know. We can be blindly unaware of the diagnosis one of our colleagues has just received about a family member - or themselves - that they are struggling to process. We may not realise that the tiredness of a young colleague is due to them having to clean up the messes of their Grandmother who is in early stage dementia. We tend to make assumptions without an understanding - or being let into - the private life of others. 

A strategy to deal with workplace communication issues has arisen from some Australian PhD research, now translated into a book (Walker, 2022, 2023). Three three common drivers of communication failures were found in the workplace research (Walker, 2023): those of simple mis-understanding (mental processing and expression differences, aka 'communication'), cultural-conditioning (philosophical, culture and value differences), and working styles (work process differences).

1. Avoid personalising the situation. "Acknowledge that clashes are a normal part of life and calmly work out whether the conflict falls into the communication, cultural conditioning or working [style] category" (Walker, 2022, 2023).
2. Reflect briefly. "Ask yourself: what is it about this person’s behaviour that provokes me? Is this person bothering me because they have a trait that I’d like to possess? Are they exhibiting a behavioural trait I don’t like but that I see in myself? For example, is [X] annoyed by [Y]’s work style because [X] wishes she were more systematic in her approach to tasks?" (Walker, 2023).
3. Share with colleagues. "Make some time to talk to your team and share everyone’s preferences for communication, culture and working styles. In meetings, [Z] could make time for each team member to share their thoughts; afterwards, [X] could encourage [the team] to dot-point their thoughts in a shared document" (Walker, 2023). 
4. Build a plan "Based on the team’s preferences, develop a plan that supports each person’s needs. Create a shared language surrounding communication, culture and working styles. Identify what a typical day looks like for each person working in their preferred state. Once everyone in the team understands the needs of each other person, it will be easier for them to behave with empathy and respect. The team could agree on times when it’s optimal to connect and quiet times for focus and individual work; and agree to use an online communication tool so remote workers don’t miss out" (Walker, 2023). 

Things will go wrong, but having a plan and an accepted process can help to minimise it. We need to remember to rinse repeat on the process regularly so that new people are onboarded well.

Sam

References:

Walker, A. (31 January 2023). ‘Don’t take it personally’: three common workplace clashes – and how to deal with them. The Guardian. https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2023/jan/31/dont-take-it-personally-three-common-workplace-clashes-and-how-to-deal-with-them

Walker, A. (2023). Click or Clash?: Discover the new connection and compatibility types that will transform your relationships – in love, friendship and work. Penguin Life.